If you’ve ever lost weight on a diet only to put it all back on - and then some - I want you to know something: it wasn’t your fault. The diet failed you. Not the other way around.

I’ve lost count of the number of women I’ve worked with who arrive feeling broken. They’ve tried everything - calorie counting, meal replacement shakes, keto, fasting, slimming clubs, point systems, cutting out food groups entirely - and nothing has stuck. They “know what to do,” they tell me. They just can’t seem to make it last.

And almost every time, when we sit down and really look at what’s going on, it turns out the thing they “know” - the diet itself - is the very thing that’s been holding them back.

This isn’t about willpower. It never was. This is about biology, psychology, and an industry that profits from you failing and coming back for more.

The diet cycle: why restriction always backfires

Here’s how it usually goes. You start a new diet on Monday. You’re motivated, determined, and for a few weeks - maybe even a few months - it works. The weight drops. You feel great. You tell yourself this time it’s different.

But then life gets in the way. A birthday, a stressful week, a holiday. You eat something “off plan” and a familiar voice kicks in: I’ve blown it now, I might as well just give up. And so you do. The weight comes back. And usually, it brings friends.

Sound familiar? That’s the diet cycle. And it’s not a personal failing - it’s a predictable, well-documented pattern that plays out in millions of people every year. Research consistently shows that the majority of people who lose weight through restrictive dieting regain it within one to five years. Many end up heavier than when they started.

The diet industry is worth billions precisely because its products don’t deliver lasting results. If they did, you’d only need to buy in once.

What happens to your metabolism when you crash diet

Your body is extraordinarily intelligent. When you dramatically cut your food intake, it doesn’t think brilliant, let’s burn through the fat stores. It thinks we’re in danger.

When you eat significantly below what your body needs to function - below your basal metabolic rate (BMR) - a cascade of protective responses kicks in. Your metabolism slows down to conserve energy. Your body becomes more efficient at storing fat and more reluctant to let it go. Hunger hormones increase, making cravings feel impossible to resist. And your body starts breaking down muscle tissue for fuel, which further reduces your metabolic rate.

This is called metabolic adaptation, and it’s your body doing exactly what it’s designed to do: keep you alive. It doesn’t know you’re trying to fit into a dress for Saturday night. It thinks there’s a famine.

So when you eventually return to eating normally - because you can’t sustain 1,200 calories forever - your metabolism is now slower, your muscle mass is reduced, and your body is primed to store fat as quickly as possible in case the next “famine” hits. This is why the weight comes back so fast, and why each diet tends to leave you a little worse off than the one before.

Your body isn’t working against you. It’s trying to protect you. The problem isn’t your body - it’s the approach.

Why willpower was never the problem

I hear this so often: “I just have no willpower.” And it breaks my heart, because it’s simply not true.

Willpower is a finite resource. It’s like a battery that drains throughout the day. Every decision you make, every temptation you resist, every time you force yourself to eat a meal you don’t enjoy when your body is screaming for something else - all of that draws from the same limited reserve.

Restrictive diets demand enormous amounts of willpower every single day. You’re constantly fighting your body’s hunger signals, your emotional needs, and your natural desire for variety and pleasure in food. No human being can sustain that indefinitely. It’s not a character flaw - it’s how we’re wired.

The women I work with aren’t lacking in discipline. Many of them are some of the most driven, determined people I know. They’ve run businesses, raised families, held everything together through incredibly challenging times. They don’t need more willpower. They need a completely different approach.

The difference between weight loss and fat loss

This is something most diets never explain, and it’s a crucial distinction.

When you crash diet, you lose weight - but a significant portion of that weight is water and muscle, not fat. The number on the scales goes down, which feels like progress, but your body composition hasn’t actually improved in a meaningful way. You might weigh less but feel weak, tired, and no healthier than before.

Fat loss is different. It’s slower. It’s less dramatic on the scales. But it’s what actually changes how you look, feel, and function. And it requires a fundamentally different approach: adequate nutrition, progressive movement, sufficient rest, and patience.

The irony is that you often need to eat more to lose fat sustainably - not less. Your body needs fuel to build and maintain the muscle that drives your metabolism. Starving yourself works against this at every level.

What actually works: working with your body, not against it

After years of coaching women through this, I can tell you that lasting change doesn’t come from a meal plan. It doesn’t come from cutting out entire food groups or punishing yourself for eating a biscuit. It comes from learning to work with your body instead of constantly fighting it.

That means:

  • Eating enough. Not too much, not too little - but enough to fuel your body properly. Understanding your energy needs and meeting them, rather than slashing calories to unsustainable levels.
  • Moving in ways you enjoy. Not forcing yourself through workouts you dread, but finding movement that makes you feel strong, capable, and alive. Walking counts. Dancing counts. Playing with your kids counts.
  • Addressing the mindset piece. The all-or-nothing thinking, the perfectionism, the emotional patterns that drive overeating - these are where the real transformation happens. No meal plan in the world can fix what’s going on in your head.
  • Being patient. Real, lasting change is slow. It’s not glamorous or Instagram-worthy. But it’s permanent. And that’s worth more than any quick fix.
  • Getting support. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Having someone who understands your body, your habits, and your history makes an enormous difference.

This is the foundation of how I work with women in F.L.A.M.E - my holistic programme that addresses nutrition, movement, mindset, and lifestyle together. Because your body doesn’t exist in isolation. Your stress levels affect your weight. Your sleep affects your hormones. Your emotional state affects what and how you eat. It’s all connected, and any approach that ignores that is missing the bigger picture.

How to break the cycle for good

If you’ve been stuck in the diet cycle for years - maybe even decades - I want you to know that it is possible to step off that ride. But it starts with a decision that might feel uncomfortable at first:

Stop dieting.

I know that sounds terrifying. If dieting is all you’ve ever known, letting go of it can feel like letting go of control. But the truth is, the diets were never giving you control in the first place. They were keeping you trapped in a cycle of restriction, bingeing, guilt, and starting again.

Here’s where to start:

  1. Learn about your body’s actual energy needs. Understand your BMR and TDEE so you know what your body genuinely requires to function well. Knowledge is power here.
  2. Start noticing your patterns. When do you overeat? What triggers it? Is it hunger, or is it something emotional? Awareness without judgement is the first step to change.
  3. Add before you subtract. Instead of thinking about what to cut out, think about what to add in. More protein. More vegetables. More water. More movement you enjoy. More sleep. Build the good habits first and the less helpful ones naturally begin to fall away.
  4. Ditch the scales as your only measure of progress. How do you feel? How are you sleeping? How are your energy levels? How do your clothes fit? These matter more than a number.
  5. Be kind to yourself. You are not a project to be fixed. You are a whole person, and you deserve an approach that respects your body, your history, and your life.

You don’t need more willpower. You need a different approach - one that works with your body, not against it.

I’ve seen this shift happen in so many women, and it’s extraordinary every single time. The moment they stop punishing themselves and start nourishing themselves - physically, emotionally, mentally - everything changes. Not overnight. Not dramatically. But deeply and permanently.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you. And if you’re ready to explore a different way - one that doesn’t involve another diet, another set of rules, or another Monday morning “fresh start” - then F.L.A.M.E might be exactly what you’ve been looking for.

You deserve to feel at home in your body. Not at war with it.